Clear Path to Peace

“Do I need a safe space where I can begin to let go of that which is poisonous within me – because of what I have done, because of what was done to me, because of what I failed to do? Do I need to begin a journey of forgiveness for the sake of my own freedom?”
— Father Michael Lapsley, Institute for the Healing of Memories

Father Lapsley is a great inspiration in the area of forgiveness. Active in the civil and social rights movement in South Africa during apartheid, Father Lapsley received a letter bomb that blew off his hands, nearly blinded him and impaired his hearing. He continues his work in South Africa, teaching people to release their personal and collective pain and come into forgiveness for the “sake of our own freedom”.

In South Africa, the work of his organization is the closest I found to my work in the United States. I had the honor of meeting Father Lapsley during a visit to Capetown in 2007.  He has truly deepened his own spiritual process through what he has received in this life, and he readily shares it with others.

I give thanks for the blessing of knowing that Father Lapsley is here on Earth, generously giving what he knows to be true.  There are many inspiring people quietly living their lives for the benefit of all of us. Father Lapsley is one.  Support his work:Institute for the Healing of Memories

The desire for healing is very strong in many people right now. The booming healing “industry” will deliver any kind of modality you could ever want. But what makes healing, and who does it?

My experience is that no one heals anyone else. The only healing possible is surrender to our shared, divine essence. When we offer up our burdens of pain, guilt, shame and terror, we receive their opposite in return. Goddess is purely generous in this way.

As individual human beings, we are taught to think of ourselves as separate and alone. This simply isn’t true, but it looks and feels very real. Since birth, and perhaps through many births, separation from God and each other seemed to make sense. We have separate bodies, and everyone and everything around us teaches us that we are our bodies; therefore, we must actually be separate units, doomed to isolation forever.

With surrender, we turn our backs on this logic. We open up to another possibility. What if there is a vast and mysterious Power of Love that we can rest within? What if we can lay our burdens down and give away the storehouse of pain we’ve accumulated? What if it only takes an instant? And what if, when we experiment with this notion and actually try it…we discover that we are already resting inside this Generous Grace?

There is no way to know about surrender and the miracles that will follow without direct experience. It is not something we can “study up” on ahead of time. Only sincerity brings us to this humble place of honesty, openness and willingness.

I offer you the following method to support you in experimenting with surrender. It is a barebones version of the steps I use in my own inner life. They work. Give it a try….

If you’d like to experience surrender, open yourself in simple prayer. Use whatever religion or non-religion feels real to you. Choose something specific and ask for healing from God, not from another human being or from changing circumstances. Offer your pain and place it in front of the altar of the Divine. Or into the lap of the Divine Mother. Or into the hands of God. This is surrender. Use a relaxing breath, focusing on exhaling slowly and consciously. Allow your feelings to flow and release…not to get rid of anything because you hate it….but to cleanse and open yourself to make room for Love. Feel your feelings….tears are great at this point. Welcome them with an open, tender heart…

When you feel empty and your release is complete, fill the emptiness with Love. This Love is your own Life Force! With powerful inhaling breaths, drink this Love deeply into your body, and give thanks for the invisible, potent miracle of life that is arriving into every cell and place between cells in your body, your heart and your mind.

After these steps, trust with all your soul that what is happening is, in fact, real. More real than the world around you and the circumstances of your situation. Close with a prayer of thanksgiving and praise. And remain open to the levels of healing that will begin to unfold! Relax, and watch expectantly for miracles to appear!

It’s holiday time again, and some of us are ecstatic….and some of us are not. Holidays are usually a time when memories and emotions reappear from childhood, and they aren’t always the easiest ones to negotiate. Even if we are not consciously aware of it, longings and expectations about what “family” is, or what “Christmas” or “New Year” are supposed to be, can affect us heavily in our emotional lives.

Many of us experience a lot of stress around this time of year - triggered by lack of sunlight during the dark winter solstice, or our mounting credit card bills, or from family dynamics that often play out during “festive” gatherings. Fortunately, there is help, and it is easy. All it takes is using something we already have - our breath.

As a peace educator, I have a lot of respect for using our breath as a tool to center ourselves, and to feel more grounded and calm. If you notice that you are feeling anxious in any way, take some time…a few moments…to become aware of your breath. Notice yourself, your body, your thoughts. Probably, you are holding your breath or not breathing very deeply. So stop your busyness - and give yourself the gift of a deep breath. Or two. Or five. Fill your belly and your lungs. Allow your entire torso to fill with good oxygen on the inhale and empty fully on the exhale.

One really helpful point about tuning in to your breath is to be especially aware of the difference between your inhale and your exhale. They are two separate parts of one breath, and you can use them for different needs. For relaxation and stress reduction, use the exhale as your point of focus. Try breathing out about twice as long as your inhale. So if you inhale for two counts, exhale for four. Next breath, experiment with inhaling for three counts and exhaling for six. Whatever you do for your inhale, exhale very slowly and evenly. Take as long as you want to get to the end of your breath. As you are exhaling, you will be lowering your heart rate, releasing tension from your muscles, and enlivening your blood. Your head will clear, and you’ll be able to handle your holiday office party much, much better.

Hope this helps. When I teach the good men in San Quentin Prison, they often remark upon how much this simple relaxing breath technique helps them. I figure if it works for them, in an intense place like San Quentin, it can work for you and me.

Try it, and let me know how it goes. Happy Holy Days!