Our Forgiveness Path: examining sympathy, empathy and generosity
On our forgiveness path, we examine many aspects of our emotional life. For instance, what is the difference between sympathy and empathy, and how do they fit into a life dedicated to generosity and healing?
We are often taught that sympathy is the same thing as love. “Oh, you poor thing!” = “I really care about you!” My mother taught me that from the time I was about 4 years old. Agreeing that sympathy is love became the normal way that we interacted with each other.
But when we’re having sympathy for someone, it’s not respectful of who and what he or she is. We might be giving caring action or words, yet we think that people in general are victims of their circumstances and that, to receive sympathy, there must be something terribly wrong with them. These thoughts create a distortion and an imbalance. Sympathy actually lowers the energetic vibration of our interaction together, because it is based on falsehood instead of truth. There isn’t much room for real love to enter.
In sympathy, there is no respect for our inner divinity, which everyone shares. Instead, there is a belief that our outer circumstance is, in fact, reality. That’s a mistake. A Course in Miracles says, “I am not a victim of the world I see.” (WB 48)
When this error is corrected, then we realize that we are in fact all equal beings, no matter what the circumstances. We can reach out with compassion to simply join with our friend, to support with love while accepting whatever the situation is in the moment. This is empathy. It doesn’t need the drama, excuses or pity that comes with sympathy. Instead, we simply open to the possibility that there is a perfection beyond what we can perceive, and we are all sharing it all the time – in sickness or health, pleasure or pain.
How can we be more generous with ourselves and others, by giving empathy instead of sympathy? Our forgiveness path requires that we make the switch – consciously – so that we can respect our inner light and reach to it, past our circumstances in life. Instead of saying to each other, “Oh, poor baby!” we say, “I know you can wake up out of this, no matter what it is.” Sounds like real friendship to me.
