How to heal bullying – try Challenge Day
For all the high profile bullying cases and heart wrenching stories of subsequent teen suicides, there are thousands of kids who suffer in pain and silence. What can we do to prevent bullying, and how do we help both the victims of cruel behavior and the perpetrators of the crimes?
In my forgiveness work, I speak about healing both the victim and the perpetrator archetypes. In reality, everyone with an ego has experienced both sides of this painful coin. One person might think of himself more as a “poor victim” and another might consider herself as basically “a bully,” but for most of us, both labels apply. And though they’re only labels, and both sides can be uplifted by the healing power of forgiveness, the violence still hurts before the healing begins.
The United Nations Charter of Rights for Children states, in part, that “every child has the right to an education and every child has the right to be safe”. One group that’s doing an incredible job helping kids find those rights is Challenge Day. I recently participated as an adult volunteer at a Challenge Day at my local high school. It was a day full of laughter, tears and miracles.
The Challenge Day trainers, youthful yet savvy Gina and Tony, enticed the students into deep honesty, openness and willingness during the 6 hour session. We all played games, made lots of noise, explored giving safe, non-sexual hugs, and shared support for our most difficult life lessons. At the end of the day, everyone (both students and adults alike) realized that there’s so much more that binds us than separates us. Roles like “cool kid” and “loser,” “jock” and “nerd” fell away once our common strengths and frailties were held with compassion and understanding. We learned about ourselves as a human family, and left with a profound sense of peace and excitement.
The challenge now is to enliven the lessons we learned during Challenge Day and make them a part of every day life at Mount Shasta High School, and at all high schools, middle schools, colleges, universities, families and throughout our entire social web.
Only this commitment to peace will prevent more kids from jumping off the George Washington Bridge, as 18 year old Tyler Clementi did this month. Maybe because I drove over that bridge every day for two years during high school, the latest suicide over a bullying incident holds symbolic meaning for me. I also love the symbol of a white bird, flying in freedom, to remind me of peace and serenity.
Whatever symbol for peace works for you, I hope you will hold it dear to your heart and make it grow. To find inspiration, contact www.challengeday.org. Be the change you want to see in the world!
