July 13, 2008
In the last few days, I’ve come even deeper into a realization about the connection between anger, violence and sadness. It is grief that lurks behind destruction…and the willingness to feel and release sadness is the cure and the balm for our pain.
Where does this grief come from, you ask? It grows from our collective refusal to live in accordance with Divine Love and its ways: union, blessing, expansion, mercy, comfort and caring for each other and our beautiful green planet. There is a shared, tragic and fearful howling that is constantly baying a mournful melody beneath our sleepy awareness. This is the grief I’m talking about, although we rarely recognize it and even more rarely give ourselves some breathing room to feel it.
I recently came across a short Buddhist tale about a monk who was crying at his master’s grave. When asked by a traveler, “Why are you crying? I thought you were enlightened!” the monk replied, “Because I am sad.” (from Everyday Grace, by Marianne Williamson)
When I read these poignant words, I thought about how much violent behavior could be transformed if we really take this story to heart. Just think – if we all gave ourselves permission to feel sad – what would our world be like?
We’d no longer answer, “Fine” to the ubiquitous question “How are you?”
Instead, we might say, “Oh, I’m feeling the tender stabbing and ripping feeling of my heart as it opens to grief.” Then we’d both pause, and take a breath together, standing by each other as we released our sadness into pools of trust and love. And it wouldn’t have to be a problem, or a drama, or a cheerleading session — just a quiet recognition of suffering as it appears here on Earth.
We could breathe and relax and feel together, and then feel a whole lot better, and closer. We’d go on about our days with more creative energy and more compassion for the next sisters and brothers who came along…and when we asked them, “How are you?” we’d pause to listen to the ringing truth of an answer that might, or might not, contain some sadness or discomfort of any kind.
I hold a vision of this world where joy, elation, fear and sadness are recognized as inner markers for how close we are feeling to God at any moment. If we want to feel closer, then we simply release our grief and in doing so, make room to expand our joy.
Notice how no violence of any kind is necessary or desired in this honest world. Connections between us just dance deeper, until someday, we’ll be done with releasing grief and the forgiveness of all deeds will be complete. The At-Onement, which lives eternally inside us, will be manifest on Earth, and we will notice that we’ve created a garden, you and me….a delightful, heavenly garden of peace.
Filed under Anger and stress management, peace