“People, in general, would rather die than forgive. It’s that hard. If God said in plain language, “I’m giving you a choice, forgive or die,” a lot of people would go ahead and order their coffin.”

That’s how we usually think about forgiveness. What Kidd is pointing to is not that forgiveness is hard to do, but that we often don’t want to do it. It seems hard because of our PRIDE.  We let pride get in the way. We’d rather stay right than come into peace.

With honesty, openness and willingness (H.O.W.), true forgiveness melts pride, attachment and stubbornness. It is the bridge that takes us from fear to love, the path that brings us home.

There are false generosities:  “Does it look like I’m being generous?” For women and girls, “Am I being a good girl? Am I being ‘ladylike’ in giving?”  For boys and men, “Am I showing my status and my power by having enough to give away?”

Another one: Giving out of guilt. “If I can just give enough, I won’t have to feel so guilty for being born a white American, or a wealthy European, Australian, or Japanese.”

Let’s weed out false generosity so that we have a clear path…not a path full of deception and debris.

True generosity is really something quite different. It is a feeling we get when we are so overflowing with divine love that the only thing left to do is to give it away. The only thing we want to do is give it away. It’s easy, fun, satisfying, enjoyable, and natural. This is a generosity of compassion and empathy.

Why not imagine a world where everyone is saturated with divine love? A world where the best part of our day is when we give love away…to each other and to the Earth..

Being generous – the way we are meant to be.

That is what I receive from his message, anyway.  What do you receive?

This Holy Day season, let’s remember that it is a season of peace.

This means that we can be peaceful about the season! We don’t need to create anxiety about buying stuff, or whether or not we’ve given “enough” to our kids or family members.  Even children who are used to getting a lot of presents can be re-trained to value gratitude, service to others, and simple (maybe handmade) gifts instead of the mountains of plastic they expect. Re-training ourselves and our children is going to take some work and inner fortitude. I know we can do it – if we commit to it.

This isn’t simply a stress management issue. In addition to our emotional health, we need to safeguard the resources of our beautiful planet. So cutting back on Christmas consumerism is an essential environmental issue as well.

Peace is our birthright. It is our very nature. We’ve lost track of that, and Christmas stress is a great barometer for how far we can lose ourselves in the expectations and habits of consumer society. But we can divorce ourselves from the madness, and claim the simplicity of true Christ consciousness.  It is within us, every moment of every day. Let’s find it together.

Merry Christmas!

Underneath, though, I was worried.  What if I get tossed?  Every serious river runner has to deal with this fear at some point or other.  I’d been kayaking the Klamath for years and had voluntarily jumped in plenty of times. I’d also been quite handy with my kayak, managing to stay in the boat through countless rapids.  I’d only “gone swimming” once before, years ago. I knew that at some point, the river would take my little body and propel it out of the boat, because that is just how it is. You can’t do a lot of river rafting without that experience, and the more I kayaked, the closer I came to the inevitable.

I was lucky – the day was warm. Coming up to a class 3 rapid, I paddled hard in preparation.  I needed to align my boat with the perfect slot in the rocks ahead. As usual during river rafting, the slightest drop in my concentration would be my undoing.  I looked quickly to “river right”, making sure to avoid overhanging branches, then put my attention back on the slot ahead of me.  But that glance cost me one micro-second too many, and the river wasn’t waiting for me. I went over the rapid and into the river so fast I couldn’t even think about it. I was swimming, and I had no choice.  I was wet, the water was moving, and my boat was bobbing somewhere close by.
Here’s the magical part: after the first shock of surprise, I realized that the Klamath River was embracing me. I felt absolutely safe in its arms of love, and I began to cry. My salty tears met the river water and we celebrated the truth that, in that moment, there was nothing wrong, nothing scary, nothing to be avoided…just warm water carrying me downstream.

The river was so strong and steadfast! Except for my upturned face and knobby knees, it completely covered my body. It took me. I relaxed into the safety of it, still crying with relief and new understanding. It was a moment I will never forget.

River rafting can be a dangerous sport. Every toss from a boat will not be as ecstatic as the experience I had that summer day.  Just the same, I gained a powerful lesson from the Klamath. It taught me about the river of love, the river of life itself.  All of my fears, hesitations and assumptions were exposed and laid bare in one moment of my heart’s relief, when I got wet and realized they were not true. The lesson moved me because I was so aware of the metaphor: this water was alive and teaching me to trust – just as the water of every moment is also wet and alive and welcomes my trust, even if it doesn’t look like I’m in a river any more. I am. It is the river of life.  That day, I found out it’s also the river of love.