Clear Path to Peace

The deeper I go into forgiveness…in the ecstatic, radical sense of the word…the more I see that its invitation is surrender. Forgiveness is the golden door, the way past all fear and grief, and an entry into life beyond dictatorship of the ego.

What is radical about radical forgiveness? What is ecstatic about it? Using a spiritual philosophy grounded in the teachings of A Course in Miracles and other holy books, we go beyond the traditional usage of the word “forgiveness”.  Rather than “letting bygones be bygones” (somehow), we agree to let our spiritual intelligence teach us. We humbly learn about the gifts that were hidden or obscured – in even the most terrible events in our lives. We surrender to the wisdom that lives beyond what our intellects can decipher. Allowing the healing blessings in, we also let pain and sorrow out of our hearts.

When we choose to let go of blame and grievances, and the corresponding thoughts and emotions buried deep within, we can refill ourselves on a cellular level with healing grace. We then find out that there is no spiritual need for forgiveness, after all, because we are not helpless, solitary victims of our circumstances. The world is not out to get us — in fact, God wants our perfect happiness.

Divine Love beckons us, welcoming us to release the pain of this material world, while supporting us to remain present in the world in order to guide others to the door. Divine Grace, sometimes known as the Holy Spirit, is the healer, and our part is to surrender to the healing…constantly flowing…the River of Love.

Recently, I found two plays on words that gave me a chuckle.  I share them here for your enjoyment and inspiration.

One of the hardest parts about being human is the tendency toward feeling abandoned. Abandoned by loved ones, by the death of loved ones, by the “betrayal” of others, and by God as well.  Especially by God. Hence all of the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that muck up our innate happiness.  Well, I found that there is a great use for abandonment.  Turning around, there is the possibility to abandon ourselves to God. That’s the juicy sort of abandonment that brings sublime joy, health, and happiness. This is the abandonment that Sufi poets describe so well. So next time you are feeling sadness or pain over thinking you’ve been abandoned by someone, abandon yourself to God instead. Freedom will be yours, every time.

Meditating upon “turning around”, I remembered the analogy that Colin Tipping likes to use in his explanation of Radical Forgiveness.  He describes our lives as being tapestries. They are beautiful, but usually we look at the backside of them. (“Ass backward,” as we used to say in New Jersey.) From that viewpoint, there are knots and hanging strings, and the image is messy and blurred. Turn it over, he suggests, and we see the divine perfection of our life plan, including everything that has ever happened for us. Not to us, but for us. It’s a turn-over!  Delectable!  I can remember that….apple turn-over, yum…let’s go get one right now.

When life seems unmanageable, try abandoning yourself to God. This surrender will put you on the path of forgiveness. And when circumstances are distasteful, turn it around…give yourself a tasty turn-over. Witnessing the perfection of each moment will make your life delicious again.

One of the ways that we can live a generous life is with empathy – and with compassion, humor, laughter, and joy as well. We don’t have to reach out only when times are bad, thinking, “Oh, it’s a crisis; I’d better reach out.”  How about simply connecting with each other because it’s more fun to live on a planet where we share the good times, the medium times, and the bad times – all of it?

We can share a smile, a wink, a sunset, a poem, a rainbow….

Envisioning a world in which we all live this way comes from our own desire. We do it simply because it’s natural. There is no neediness, and no feeling of being drained or exhausted. Instead, there’s a playfulness to it, so that when we travel away from home across the street or across the world, we’re recognizing equality in all beings. We feel safe to stop and chat, to look people in the eye, to share love and art and beauty with them.

Lay forgiveness on your mind

and let all fear be gently laid aside

that love may find its rightful place in you.

— A Course in Miracles (T198)

Forgiveness is a link between me, you and freedom.  Every time I forgive, I release my pain and make room for Love.  It isn’t about being weak or relinquishing power, it’s about letting go of what hurts … for me, and for you, if you choose.

Forgiveness, in a radical sense, is for all of us. For more peace in our hearts and in the world. For a new beginning.  That’s what this time is all about – new beginnings and fresh starts.  How can we be fresh and new when we’re carrying boatloads of past pain, anger and resentment?  We can’t.  We need to clean house.  Make space. Allow the grace of the Holy Spirit to wash us in the River of Love. Our world, and our sanity, depends on it.

On our forgiveness path, we examine many aspects of our emotional life. For instance, what is the difference between sympathy and empathy, and how do they fit into a life dedicated to generosity and healing?

We are often taught that sympathy is the same thing as love. “Oh, you poor thing!” = “I really care about you!” My mother taught me that from the time I was about 4 years old. Agreeing that sympathy is love became the normal way that we interacted with each other.

But when we’re having sympathy for someone, it’s not respectful of who and what he or she is. We might be giving caring action or words, yet we think that people in general are victims of their circumstances and that, to receive sympathy, there must be something terribly wrong with them. These thoughts create a distortion and an imbalance. Sympathy actually lowers the energetic vibration of our interaction together, because it is based on falsehood instead of truth. There isn’t much room for real love to enter.

In sympathy, there is no respect for our inner divinity, which everyone shares. Instead, there is a belief that our outer circumstance is, in fact, reality. That’s a mistake. A Course in Miracles says, “I am not a victim of the world I see.” (WB 48)

When this error is corrected, then we realize that we are in fact all equal beings, no matter what the circumstances. We can reach out with compassion to simply join with our friend, to support with love while accepting whatever the situation is in the moment. This is empathy. It doesn’t need the drama, excuses or pity that comes with sympathy. Instead, we simply open to the possibility that there is a perfection beyond what we can perceive, and we are all sharing it all the time – in sickness or health, pleasure or pain.

How can we be more generous with ourselves and others, by giving empathy instead of sympathy? Our forgiveness path requires that we make the switch – consciously – so that we can respect our inner light and reach to it, past our circumstances in life.  Instead of saying to each other, “Oh, poor baby!” we say, “I know you can wake up out of this, no matter what it is.” Sounds like real friendship to me.

Here’s a quote from the wonderful book, The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd.

“People, in general, would rather die than forgive. It’s that hard. If God said in plain language, “I’m giving you a choice, forgive or die,” a lot of people would go ahead and order their coffin.”

That’s how we usually think about forgiveness. What Kidd is pointing to is not that forgiveness is hard to do, but that we often don’t want to do it. It seems hard because of our PRIDE.  We let pride get in the way. We’d rather stay right than come into peace.

With honesty, openness and willingness (H.O.W.), true forgiveness melts pride, attachment and stubbornness. It is the bridge that takes us from fear to love, the path that brings us home.

Being generous is part of our true nature.

There are false generosities:  “Does it look like I’m being generous?” For women and girls, “Am I being a good girl? Am I being ‘ladylike’ in giving?”  For boys and men, “Am I showing my status and my power by having enough to give away?”

Another one: Giving out of guilt. “If I can just give enough, I won’t have to feel so guilty for being born a white American, or a wealthy European, Australian, or Japanese.”

Let’s weed out false generosity so that we have a clear path…not a path full of deception and debris.

True generosity is really something quite different. It is a feeling we get when we are so overflowing with divine love that the only thing left to do is to give it away. The only thing we want to do is give it away. It’s easy, fun, satisfying, enjoyable, and natural. This is a generosity of compassion and empathy.

Why not imagine a world where everyone is saturated with divine love? A world where the best part of our day is when we give love away…to each other and to the Earth..

Being generous – the way we are meant to be.

When Jesus walked the planet, he didn’t have a plan to create a massive holiday of gift-giving…complete with stressed out gift givers.  Jesus came to remind us of our eternal holiness, our pure innocence, and the love of God for each one of us.

That is what I receive from his message, anyway.  What do you receive?

This Holy Day season, let’s remember that it is a season of peace.

This means that we can be peaceful about the season! We don’t need to create anxiety about buying stuff, or whether or not we’ve given “enough” to our kids or family members.  Even children who are used to getting a lot of presents can be re-trained to value gratitude, service to others, and simple (maybe handmade) gifts instead of the mountains of plastic they expect. Re-training ourselves and our children is going to take some work and inner fortitude. I know we can do it – if we commit to it.

This isn’t simply a stress management issue. In addition to our emotional health, we need to safeguard the resources of our beautiful planet. So cutting back on Christmas consumerism is an essential environmental issue as well.

Peace is our birthright. It is our very nature. We’ve lost track of that, and Christmas stress is a great barometer for how far we can lose ourselves in the expectations and habits of consumer society. But we can divorce ourselves from the madness, and claim the simplicity of true Christ consciousness.  It is within us, every moment of every day. Let’s find it together.

Merry Christmas!

I just received this link and it is beautiful! If you click on this, you will see Americans all over the world, standing on bridges as a symbol of the bridge to change…http://blip.tv:80/file/1338283  If you are an American citizen of voting age, PLEASE VOTE. Support clean, honest voting in the United States! I support Barack Obama because he stands for health, sanity, environmental sustainability, peace, and respect for all people.  How about you? As a peace educator and forgiveness counselor, I’ve been inspired by the unity of purpose and strength of caring that characterize the Obama campaign.  Obama’s supporters come in all sizes, shapes and colors, just like the citizens of this country.We can learn to live together in peace, and to export peace and goodwill around the world.  Yes we can! 

It was summer.  I was on a river trip with a group of women; all of us adventuring together on the Klamath River in far northern California, near the Oregon border.  I was paddling my kayak, happy with the day, the beauty, and the sunshine.

Underneath, though, I was worried.  What if I get tossed?  Every serious river runner has to deal with this fear at some point or other.  I’d been kayaking the Klamath for years and had voluntarily jumped in plenty of times. I’d also been quite handy with my kayak, managing to stay in the boat through countless rapids.  I’d only “gone swimming” once before, years ago. I knew that at some point, the river would take my little body and propel it out of the boat, because that is just how it is. You can’t do a lot of river rafting without that experience, and the more I kayaked, the closer I came to the inevitable.

I was lucky – the day was warm. Coming up to a class 3 rapid, I paddled hard in preparation.  I needed to align my boat with the perfect slot in the rocks ahead. As usual during river rafting, the slightest drop in my concentration would be my undoing.  I looked quickly to “river right”, making sure to avoid overhanging branches, then put my attention back on the slot ahead of me.  But that glance cost me one micro-second too many, and the river wasn’t waiting for me. I went over the rapid and into the river so fast I couldn’t even think about it. I was swimming, and I had no choice.  I was wet, the water was moving, and my boat was bobbing somewhere close by.
Here’s the magical part: after the first shock of surprise, I realized that the Klamath River was embracing me. I felt absolutely safe in its arms of love, and I began to cry. My salty tears met the river water and we celebrated the truth that, in that moment, there was nothing wrong, nothing scary, nothing to be avoided…just warm water carrying me downstream.

The river was so strong and steadfast! Except for my upturned face and knobby knees, it completely covered my body. It took me. I relaxed into the safety of it, still crying with relief and new understanding. It was a moment I will never forget.

River rafting can be a dangerous sport. Every toss from a boat will not be as ecstatic as the experience I had that summer day.  Just the same, I gained a powerful lesson from the Klamath. It taught me about the river of love, the river of life itself.  All of my fears, hesitations and assumptions were exposed and laid bare in one moment of my heart’s relief, when I got wet and realized they were not true. The lesson moved me because I was so aware of the metaphor: this water was alive and teaching me to trust – just as the water of every moment is also wet and alive and welcomes my trust, even if it doesn’t look like I’m in a river any more. I am. It is the river of life.  That day, I found out it’s also the river of love.

What a time of upheaval and change!  And what a time of no upheaval and no change at all!

I don’t know about you, but the past week has been a time when all of my *&#! came up. Any place where I wasn’t trusting my connection to the One came to greet me with a devilish grin. Yikes!  What an unpleasant crash into a hell world of my own creation. I notice that I get really bent out of shape if I get worried about the future. In reality, in this moment I’m fine…doing my thing, healthy, with a roof over my head and all the blessings of my beautiful life…

In my imagined future, I can create all sorts of scary possibilities. And it sucks. Reeling my mind back to this moment NOW has taken all of my patience, strength and self-love. I know I am not alone. Everyone I work with and play with is also feeling this deep inner challenge of remaining present in the Presence…or losing our way and coming back…So if you are feeling slightly or majorly insane these days, go into your heart and reach out to all of your teammates…the incredible souls around the world (and beyond) who are committed to the awakening of Love and Peace and Health and Justice on Earth.  There are millions of us, and we are strong. Tap into the group determination that we yield, especially if you’ve temporarily lost your way.

Together, we awaken. Together, we support each other and learn to love Life. God is perfect love.  And so are we.