Clear Path to Peace

One of the ways that we can live a generous life is with empathy – and with compassion, humor, laughter, and joy as well. We don’t have to reach out only when times are bad, thinking, “Oh, it’s a crisis; I’d better reach out.”  How about simply connecting with each other because it’s more fun to live on a planet where we share the good times, the medium times, and the bad times – all of it?

We can share a smile, a wink, a sunset, a poem, a rainbow….

Envisioning a world in which we all live this way comes from our own desire. We do it simply because it’s natural. There is no neediness, and no feeling of being drained or exhausted. Instead, there’s a playfulness to it, so that when we travel away from home across the street or across the world, we’re recognizing equality in all beings. We feel safe to stop and chat, to look people in the eye, to share love and art and beauty with them.

Lay forgiveness on your mind

and let all fear be gently laid aside

that love may find its rightful place in you.

— A Course in Miracles (T198)

Forgiveness is a link between me, you and freedom.  Every time I forgive, I release my pain and make room for Love.  It isn’t about being weak or relinquishing power, it’s about letting go of what hurts … for me, and for you, if you choose.

Forgiveness, in a radical sense, is for all of us. For more peace in our hearts and in the world. For a new beginning.  That’s what this time is all about – new beginnings and fresh starts.  How can we be fresh and new when we’re carrying boatloads of past pain, anger and resentment?  We can’t.  We need to clean house.  Make space. Allow the grace of the Holy Spirit to wash us in the River of Love. Our world, and our sanity, depends on it.

On our forgiveness path, we examine many aspects of our emotional life. For instance, what is the difference between sympathy and empathy, and how do they fit into a life dedicated to generosity and healing?

We are often taught that sympathy is the same thing as love. “Oh, you poor thing!” = “I really care about you!” My mother taught me that from the time I was about 4 years old. Agreeing that sympathy is love became the normal way that we interacted with each other.

But when we’re having sympathy for someone, it’s not respectful of who and what he or she is. We might be giving caring action or words, yet we think that people in general are victims of their circumstances and that, to receive sympathy, there must be something terribly wrong with them. These thoughts create a distortion and an imbalance. Sympathy actually lowers the energetic vibration of our interaction together, because it is based on falsehood instead of truth. There isn’t much room for real love to enter.

In sympathy, there is no respect for our inner divinity, which everyone shares. Instead, there is a belief that our outer circumstance is, in fact, reality. That’s a mistake. A Course in Miracles says, “I am not a victim of the world I see.” (WB 48)

When this error is corrected, then we realize that we are in fact all equal beings, no matter what the circumstances. We can reach out with compassion to simply join with our friend, to support with love while accepting whatever the situation is in the moment. This is empathy. It doesn’t need the drama, excuses or pity that comes with sympathy. Instead, we simply open to the possibility that there is a perfection beyond what we can perceive, and we are all sharing it all the time – in sickness or health, pleasure or pain.

How can we be more generous with ourselves and others, by giving empathy instead of sympathy? Our forgiveness path requires that we make the switch – consciously – so that we can respect our inner light and reach to it, past our circumstances in life.  Instead of saying to each other, “Oh, poor baby!” we say, “I know you can wake up out of this, no matter what it is.” Sounds like real friendship to me.

Here’s a quote from the wonderful book, The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd.

“People, in general, would rather die than forgive. It’s that hard. If God said in plain language, “I’m giving you a choice, forgive or die,” a lot of people would go ahead and order their coffin.”

That’s how we usually think about forgiveness. What Kidd is pointing to is not that forgiveness is hard to do, but that we often don’t want to do it. It seems hard because of our PRIDE.  We let pride get in the way. We’d rather stay right than come into peace.

With honesty, openness and willingness (H.O.W.), true forgiveness melts pride, attachment and stubbornness. It is the bridge that takes us from fear to love, the path that brings us home.

Being generous is part of our true nature.

There are false generosities:  “Does it look like I’m being generous?” For women and girls, “Am I being a good girl? Am I being ‘ladylike’ in giving?”  For boys and men, “Am I showing my status and my power by having enough to give away?”

Another one: Giving out of guilt. “If I can just give enough, I won’t have to feel so guilty for being born a white American, or a wealthy European, Australian, or Japanese.”

Let’s weed out false generosity so that we have a clear path…not a path full of deception and debris.

True generosity is really something quite different. It is a feeling we get when we are so overflowing with divine love that the only thing left to do is to give it away. The only thing we want to do is give it away. It’s easy, fun, satisfying, enjoyable, and natural. This is a generosity of compassion and empathy.

Why not imagine a world where everyone is saturated with divine love? A world where the best part of our day is when we give love away…to each other and to the Earth..

Being generous – the way we are meant to be.

When Jesus walked the planet, he didn’t have a plan to create a massive holiday of gift-giving…complete with stressed out gift givers.  Jesus came to remind us of our eternal holiness, our pure innocence, and the love of God for each one of us.

That is what I receive from his message, anyway.  What do you receive?

This Holy Day season, let’s remember that it is a season of peace.

This means that we can be peaceful about the season! We don’t need to create anxiety about buying stuff, or whether or not we’ve given “enough” to our kids or family members.  Even children who are used to getting a lot of presents can be re-trained to value gratitude, service to others, and simple (maybe handmade) gifts instead of the mountains of plastic they expect. Re-training ourselves and our children is going to take some work and inner fortitude. I know we can do it – if we commit to it.

This isn’t simply a stress management issue. In addition to our emotional health, we need to safeguard the resources of our beautiful planet. So cutting back on Christmas consumerism is an essential environmental issue as well.

Peace is our birthright. It is our very nature. We’ve lost track of that, and Christmas stress is a great barometer for how far we can lose ourselves in the expectations and habits of consumer society. But we can divorce ourselves from the madness, and claim the simplicity of true Christ consciousness.  It is within us, every moment of every day. Let’s find it together.

Merry Christmas!